I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something.
And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do. ~Edward Everett Hale
This weekend, I made the following post in my Notes on Facebook:
My friend Eden commented on the Cartoon FB profile pics: Putting up the cartoon picture isn't going to help those kids in even the least bit what-so-ever. And, for the most part, she's right. No more than posting your bra color or where you like to place your pocket book does for Breast cancer.
Still, it gets you to thinking....it's something at least. And one small act could lead to others that could make a greater impact. And thinking "What COULD I do?" I'm only 15. What could I offer?
Richard Bach says "Every problem has a gift for you in it's hands."
The problem: Child abuse The gift: Ways to prevent it
I need you, my friends, to provide the gift. I know many of you are adult survivors of abuse. I can't fix what happened to you as a child. And what I'm asking is hard, because it means you have to revisit that hell for a moment. But I would love to know what it is that YOU do as a parent that breaks the cycle. What do you do for your own children that makes that difference? I know, for my mom, it's many things: deciding to never hit...not spanking, not slapping, no violent physical contact ever. No verbal belittling. Remembering what it was like at my age.
I would like to compile a list of positive ideas for parenting to put here. I don't know how yet. A website? I'm more than willing to give up my status to post positive ways to stop the abuse. For abuse survivors thinking of being a parent, a list, a REAL list from REAL people with REAL solutions. One of my dearest friends is a child hood abuse survivor. Before she became a parent, her biggest concern was her own abuse. "What do I do? I have no role models to emulate. If I just had a list..." I think wanting to be a better parent was the first step.
For those of you who had wonderful parents, you could share something positive that your parents did that made such an impact that you made certain you did it with your children as well.
If you know someone who has something to offer, send them here. My email is open to everyone. My private email is indigo_al@yahoo.com.
Eden, I've only had a little over 12 hours to think on this. Will it do for a start?
In Peace,
Abbie Lyons
P.S. Any suggestions would be most welcome. All info will be kept private and any suggestions posted anonymously unless you state otherwise.
The notes, emails and calls I have received have been overwhelming. On one hand, I'm glad that there is so much support for this issue. On the other hand, I am saddened beyond belief. Because with almost every suggestion for prevention comes a story. A heart-breaking story. The grief and sadness I feel are overwhelming. One email had some of the most amazing suggestions, and I was so excited that I would be able to share them. Then, I read the post script....'I wish this is what my parents would do for me.'
God, you took me outside my own selfishness. And showed me what a truly broken heart is. Ever the teacher. Ever the gift giver. Ever the healer.
